John Cleese Forum

chris14 · Mar 14 2012

Hi dear Newbies,

For new members this forum seems a bit odd or scary perhaps. They read about strange things that they are unprepared for, they see everybody else knows each other. They feel like an outsider.

There are stages of the membership.

1, You spot the forum

2, You start browsing the threads, read some comments

3, You're shocked & surprised

4, You find something interesting that you want to reply

5, You discover if you want to leave a comment you have to register & become a member.

6, You're hesitating (because you can see the others know each other, they are long-term members)

7, You decide to join

8, You join

9, You re-read the post you wanted to answer

10, You hesitate, if you still want to reply

11, You believe the old members are bastards who will laugh at you and leave vicious comments to you if you interfere

12, You make your decision and post your comment

13, The old members are such bastards that they leave you vicious comments and laugh at you

14, You feel offended, you want to leave the forum right away, but something keeps you here: the revenge

15, You decide you don't give up and the bastard old members can't talk to you like that

16, You reply again

17, The old members are still bastards, and reply you in an offensive way (at least you feel so), but slowly but surely you realise they don't want to be offensive, it is their style & nature only, they basically threat you as an equal, just they are sooo bastards that they cannot remember of their own first visits, and they talk to the new comers the same way as they talk to any other member of the forum.

18, You're in, and you enjoy coming back day after day, you leave comments occasionally

19, You leave comments more frequently & more self-confidently

20, You become a bastard old member yourself, who grows scary for the new comers.

Yeah, we all went through these stages. Some of us were members on the very old forum, on the first ever John Cleese forum. Then we've got our second forum which is still alive - but it lacks the admins therefore no new members can register. But, if you want to know us, old members better, have a look at the previous forum: http://www.cleeseblog.com/Vanilla/

You can read the threads and comments, but you can't answer there, if you're not a member of the previous forum. We've got plenty of stories & poems, you can read those, too. With the members, we've published 2 forum-books for our John's 2 latest birthdays, and the girls sent him copies of them. They are charity books, by the way - we support 5 of the charities that are supported by the Cheese-King himself. Btw, you can buy those books as well, if you're interested, and can't find the links for them, I'll look for them & paste them here.

Enjoy your membership,

Chris xx

chris14 · Mar 14 2012

Oh, and the previous forum has a Twitter account as well, you can find it on Twitter as @cheeseling . Whenever someone posts a new thread over there, it appears on Twitter as well. Sadly the new forum isn't on Twitter yet, but I think it's only a matter of time.

msfannytwinklebutt · Mar 14 2012

[..]

chris14 · Mar 14 2012

Hey Fanny, what's this lovely odd [..] ?

chris14 · Mar 15 2012

And dear Newbies, if you feel poetic or if you've got a story for us, please feel free to share them with us. We've got plenty of poems and stories on the previous forum. We'll collect the new ones (including yours!!!) and publish them in our third forum book. Sometime.

chris14 · Mar 15 2012

And John used to be on the previous forum, under the name of Jack Cheese. I'm not sure he's on this one yet. Maybe later.

Oh, yes, it is worthy to join the forum, cos those forum members who attended John's Oxford show, could meet our hero. It was a fantastic evening. And we happened to be on his DVD, as well (Alimony Tour). OK, we're only on the backstage secrets bit, and we're only visible for just 2 seconds, but we made it, we're on his DVD. Because we are members of the Forum of John Cleese.

So, don't be scared to be a member. Join and enjoy.

mrsthing · Mar 15 2012

I'll be nice, at first. Mrs. Thing is the nice one. Kind of boring, really. But I'll wait until you're well established before I start the rough sort of repartee with a newbie that we olbies have come to expect and enjoy.

msfannytwinklebutt · Mar 15 2012

I don't know, Chris. I wanted to say something and when I looked at the smilie thingies and saw this cool whatever it is, I said to myself, that's it! That's how I feel right now, and what I want to say! That's exactly it! And so I clicked on it and it posted. I still feel the same about it. It's perfect. I'm not sure what it means.

thumble · Mar 15 2012

First of all Chris - splendid job - above and beyond the call of duty, very well explained, spot on, etc etc.

In the interest of full disclosure, however, Chris is actually a dominatrix who lures unsuspecting newbies into the fold with honey, sort of like a bent hockey coach does with 13 year old boys and promises of a starting position (no pun intended) on the team, and then ties them up, lashes them with whips, and forces them to eat her home made lasagna.

OK, so that was only her first marriage, and admittedly she has mellowed since then (tortellini is the new home made meal of choice), and this is all complete nonsense, as she is really a lovely person. I just wanted to imagine, to feel, to experience your shock - it makes thumble feel good, sort of like that hockey coach.

Anyway, it's lots of fun, and you can be as creative as you want bring up any subject you want, especially if you're passionate about it, as Mrsthing is with Rick Santorum and John's eyes, and just pop in and comment whenever you want.

As Chris (our Welcome Wagon lady) will always say "Welcome here (fill in silly registered name)!"

There Chris I said it for you this time ;)

mrsthing · Mar 17 2012

Too bad there isn't an eye-twitching smiley. 'Cause that's what happens whenever anyone says "Santorum".

Lasagne is way easier to make than tortellini.

chris14 · Mar 17 2012

Thanks, guys. Let's hope the newbies will enjoy it as well. :-)

chris14 · Mar 17 2012

That's weird, since the forum accepts new members again, there are fewer newbies than on the previous forum.

mrsthing · Mar 17 2012

Yeah, I noticed. All those guests lurking must be too shy to sign on. :-((

thumble · Mar 17 2012

Interesting thought. And I thought it was me, inadvertently logged on, playing to a massive audience of admirers.

*sigh* another fantasy debunked....

mrsthing · Mar 17 2012

Actually, I noticed that a lot of new members have signed on! So start posting, people! Start a new discussion! Introduce yourselves! Do you have any idea how long it's been since we had some new members here? It's been over a year. We're going stark fucking crazy! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE post something!

thumble · Mar 17 2012

Perhaps reverse psychology would be more appropriate?

Don't you DARE post anything, you red-nosed, festering bowls of blancmange!!!!

Something like that, perhaps?

mrsthing · Mar 17 2012

Not a good idea to threaten webcam humiliation just now, thumble. A guy was just found guilty in a trial where he secretly recorded his gay room mate in a romantic encounter, showed the video around, and then the room mate killed himself. He was acquitted of the most serious charges, but he could still get up to 10 years imprisonment on the ones he was found guilty of.

thumble · Mar 17 2012

That was very tragic - I'm glad they threw the book at the perpetrator

mrsthing · Mar 17 2012

It hits a bit too close to home for me. A dear friend's daughter was friends with the young man who killed himself. It really shook her up. He was a musician; they played in the orchestra together. The verbal abuse aimed at the young man on trial has been awful. Nobody sees the humor in it here, I'm afraid.

thumble · Mar 17 2012

I agree.

chris14 · Mar 17 2012

I heard about that, MrsT. It's tragic. :-(

I don't know why people can't accept the fact that we're all different?

It's so weird. People are using artificial rubbish to make themselves unique - but basically with that they do exactly its opposite: everyone wants to be blonde, slim, tattooed, whatever to look different - but they become so much the same.

But those things that would make them REALLY unique - the majority of the people simply don't accept, or ignore it.

chris14 · Mar 17 2012

And yes, new people, this thread is for you! Come on, come on! Or if you don't like this thread, feel free to create one for yourselves! Just start writing! PPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSEEEE!